"But if I say I'll never mention the Lord or speak in His name, His word burns in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones. I am worn out trying to hold it in. I can't do it!"
For many years this verse burned in my heart every day, like a metronome that wouldn't stop. It just repeated over and over. Somehow I knew I was doing something wrong with my life. I had this lingering feeling when I woke up and went to sleep that I wasn’t fulfilling my destiny. Something was missing. Something was off.
I knew I was keeping God’s word too quiet in my life. I would often think, “is this it, working in a church, getting a paycheck? Is this what I gave my life in ministry to do? There has to be more. What faith does this require of me? Some days I would come home and just ball. I knew I wasn’t fulfilling God’s call for my life but I didn’t know what to do about it.
There was a deeper level of obedience Jesus was asking of me. I would think, I can’t keep God’s word in, if I do, I will die! Then on August 1st, 2017 I had enough. I was done justifying that I was “happy” because I had a paycheck and that equaled stability which equaled happiness, right? Wrong!! And then, I did it, I quit my job to pursue one thing. Ignite the church. Spread the gospel. I stepped into agreement with what Heaven was calling me to do. I had to OBEY. I had to GO, and fulfill the call God has had on my life.
I broke agreement with the lie that I needed a pastor to give me his pulpit. As a young woman in ministry let me just tell you, the struggle is real, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not stronger than the struggle. (Thank you, Havilah Cunnington)
So the past 3 months have been the result of simple obedience. With one goal. Ignite the church. Preach the gospel. It hasn't been glamours, or easy, but it has been SO UNBELIEVABLY WORTH IT! Following God’s call is ALWAYS WORTH IT. I wouldn’t want to pursue anything else, except this! In loosing a paycheck, a title,and a position, I gained what no man can affirm or un-affirm and what money can’t buy, FAITH. Faith like a wildfire that has spread through my heart. I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back.
So my friend, may my story give you courage. May it remind you the impossible is POSSIBLE and that YOU are DESTINED to walk by faith and not by sight!