"But if I say I'll never mention the Lord or speak in His name, His word burns in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones. I am worn out trying to hold it in. I can't do it!"
For years this verse burned in my heart until it became a metronome that wouldn't stop. I knew I was keeping God’s word too quiet in my life. I had a call to preach the gospel when I was 14 years old but was not fulfilling that call at 27 years old, working mostly administrative roles in a local church, feeling dead inside. I was sad because I knew God had more for me to give but I felt silenced.
I would often think, “Is this it? Working in a church, getting a paycheck? Is this what I gave my life in ministry to do? There has to be more. What faith does this require of me? Some days I would come home and cry because I knew I wasn’t fulfilling God’s call for my life.
There was a deeper level of obedience Jesus was asking of me.
In April of 2017 while praying at an alter call with Heidi Baker, out of my mouth came, "evangelist to America". I blurted it out and felt it was the Holy Spirit welling up in me.
That moment in God's presence marked my life. Now all that was required was my obedience.
4 months later, I quit my church job to pursue one thing. Evangelism to America. To spread the gospel and empower the saints with the Holy Spirit. I stepped into agreement with what Heaven was calling me to do. I had to OBEY. I had to GO, and fulfill the call God has had on my life.
I broke agreement with the lie that I needed a pastor to give me his pulpit. As a young woman in ministry let me just tell you, the struggle is real, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not stronger than the struggle. (Thank you, Havilah Cunnington)
So the past 3 months have been the result of simple obedience. With one goal. Ignite the church. Preach the gospel. It hasn't been glamours, or easy, but it has been SO UNBELIEVABLY WORTH IT! Following God’s call is ALWAYS WORTH IT. I wouldn’t want to pursue anything else, except this! In loosing a paycheck, a title,and a position, I gained what no man can affirm or un-affirm and what money can’t buy, FAITH. Faith like a wildfire that has spread through my heart. I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back.
So my friend, may my story give you courage. May it remind you the impossible is POSSIBLE and that YOU are DESTINED to walk by faith and not by sight!